I am watching the rain fall on this cold June morning in my Seattle-area suburb.

The heat should have been turned off a month ago. A week or so ago, I put away my space heaters that I use when I want a bit of extra heat. At the same time, I optimistically got out my air conditioning device-on-wheels (optimistically? It’s June!). At church yesterday, a fair number of people were wearing jackets during the service – my pew neighbors and I complained to each other that we were colder with our jackets on than we had been a week earlier (the church’s heating system has reportedly broken again…..).

These long-pause-looking-out-the-window moments – such as my current one this morning – offer the ability to reflect.

Yes, it’s cold, wet, and dreary in June. Yes, I’ve got a challenging personal circumstance that needs to change.

Yet, the rain gives us flowers.

Yet, we have the ability to pause and reflect about the God who loves us.

Ten years ago, I attended a church service as a person who was away from church and had no intention of returning regularly to church. However, the homily touched me in a way that brought me back to church (that story is told here). In the time that followed, I was graced with an emotionally-tangible period of God directly loving me. That grace-filled experience of being loved by God reduced the rough contours of a punctuatedly difficult period.

We are given free will. Love, by its’ very nature, is freely given and can only be received freely. …..I used to struggle with the idea of God being a three-part trinity until I read in the Catholic Catechism that God’s nature – being love – must be trinitarian (multi-selved) because love cannot exist without being shared…..God needed someone to love (i.e., love shared among God’s multi-parted self) until God created us to love. God does not force God’s love upon us. There are times, though – such as in my return-to-church experience – when God seems to try to get our attention…..

We all occasionally feel emotional nudges that seem to be trying to pull us in a particular direction. Those nudges are sometimes the Holy Spirit making an effort to get our attention.

Even in our busy, fast-paced lives, it’s good to follow those emotional nudges. God wants what’s good for us.

We live in a time when we are encouraged to focus externally. Go here, do that, by busy, be extroverted. Yet, the interiority written about by Augustine and the mystics is among the contexts where we encounter God. Of course, we also encounter God in the “Whatsoever you do for the least of my fellows, you did for me.” When I used to volunteer in the prison system, my Tuesday night visits to a combined federal-and-provincial women’s penitentiary were a time to be giving. I found – for me – that it was also a weekly respite from the pressures of my daily life. Self-giving and the experience of interiority when we go inward to be with God (rather than to be self-absorbed) are two sides of the same coin.

Some days, even the gray days provide a rainbow.

Kim Burkhardt blogs about faith at The Hermitage Within. Thank you for reading this faith blog and for sharing it with your friends. While you are here, please feel welcome to provide support to sustain this blog ($$).