Tag: relationship with God

How many people pray? How do people pray?

May 19, 2025

According to Pew’s most recent “religious landscape study” (2023-2024), 44% of U.S. residents indicate praying daily:

If you are among the people who pray regularly, how do you pray?

The question “how do you pray” really asks “how do you have an interactive relationship with God?” There are as many experiences of prayer as their are people.

A prayer style that works for one person may be very different than what works for the next person.

Personally, my most meaningful prayer – and preferred way to pray – is contemplative prayer. simply being in God’s presence. No language necessary. In 2016, I was gifted with an extended – and unexpected – period of contemplative prayer in which I felt God’s presence loving me (that story surround that experience is told here); the experience set me on a new footing.

Several approaches to prayer include:

  • Rote prayer (formal, memorized prayers – these are often provided to us by our houses of worship). Prayers such as the Lord’s Prayer are full of meaning and help us learn to pray. Such prayers give us ready prayer content that we can easily put to use.
  • Psalms. The Book of Psalms – which were meant to be sung – are summarized by Wikipedia thus: the Book of Psalms are “an anthology of Hebrew religious hymns…including hymns or songs of praise, communal and individual laments, royal psalms, imprecation, and individual thanksgivings.  The book also includes psalms of communal thanksgiving, wisdom, pilgrimage, and other categories.”
  • “Talking to God.” Our spontaneous thoughts and words directed to God. God wants to have a relationship with us; relationships are two-way, be open to feeling God’s presence in response.
  • Contemplative Prayer. Resting reflectively in prayer, without a need for words or any human language. Contemplative prayer can – and for some people, does – include a sense of God’s presence in prayer. For more information about contemplative prayer, visit Contemplative Outreach.
  • Praying the Rosary. The rosary is a reflective way of praying a set of rote prayers with a formulaic set of Catholic prayer beads (focusing time on specified topics). Instructions for praying the rosary is available here.
  • Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina “describes a way of reading the Scriptures whereby we gradually let go of our own agenda and open ourselves to what God wants to say to us” (this particular description provided by the Carmelites).
  • Singing at church. “Those who sing pray twice” (a popular phrase in churches).
  • Intercessory prayer. Intercessory prayer that we pray for other people. We come to God with the challenges of those who are in need of support.

My favorite pray-ers:

  • Teresa of Avila, (16th-century mystic, Doctor of the Church, Carmelite nun, reformer of the Carmelite religious order, Carmelite saint)
  • John of the Cross (16th-century mystic, Doctor of the Church, Carmelite monk and priest, co-reformer of the Carmelite religious order, Carmelite saint)
  • Edith Stein, Carmelite nun, Carmelite saint
  • Fr. Thomas Keating, founder of Contemplative Outreach

Books for further reading:

Clinging: The Experience of Prayer (Emilie Griffin)

The Tradition of Catholic Prayer (The Monks of Meinrad Monastery)

Kim Burkhardt blogs at A Parish Catechist (and is a member of the Association of Catholic Publishers). If you are a new visitor, it would be great to have you subscribe to follow this blog (it’s free – thank you!). If you know someone who would like this blog, please share it with them and invite them to subscribe (thank you!).

Our perception of God, God’s love for us, our responsibility

August 15, 2024

A pastor told me a few months ago that humanity’s effort to describe God can be compared to God as being like a circle with our limited human efforts to describe God merely approaching various touching points of the circle; often, he said, without our descriptions actually touching the circle – let alone ever grasping the entire circle. We shouldn’t fret about the imperfections of our descriptions. Rather, he indicated, we should continue with our efforts as best we can.

I thought of that description when I took the photo (above) – an orange sunset shining through window shades onto my living room wall. Left to ourselves, we live in some measure of darkness (Fr. Timothy Radcliffe: “We are all radically incomplete”). At the same time, God loves us. To the degree that we allow God into our lives, we experience some of the light of God’s love for us (due to our finite capacity, we probably only sense some of that love, as if filtered sunlight making its’ way through the shades)!

Prayer, of course, is a significant aspect of how we allow God into our lives – how we experience a relationship with our God who loves us. Prayer is not meant to be a uni-directional monologue of us sending our thoughts, feelings, requests, or rote prayers to a Santa-God. The fullness of prayer is one in which we engage in a two-way, in-person relationship with our parent-God who wants to have a loving, engaging relationship with us and who wants to help us become the people we are meant to be.

In addition to God loving us, it is our job to love one another and to do what we can to shed light into the lives of our fellow humans (see the passage below from Matthew 22:34-40). Martin Luther King said, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question: What are you doing for others?” Loving other people and taking care of God’s children is what we are here to do.

The “60/40” plan prescribed for marriages is a principle that all of us can actually apply in our relationships with everyone so as to be the loving people we are meant to be. If each of us spends 60% of our time focusing on what we can do to be of service to the people around us and only 40% (or less!!!) of our time thinking about our needs, then everyone wins!

Kim Burkhardt blogs at A Parish Catechist and The Books of the Ages (and a member of the Association of Catholic Publishers). Blogging is sustainable via blog readership (i.e. readers/subscribers). If you are a new visitor, it would be great to have you subscribe to follow this blog (thank you!). If you know someone who would like this blog, please share it with them and invite them to subscribe (thank you!). Also, your support ($$) to help sustain this blog is welcome.

“Wordless sighs of the heart”

August 9, 2024
Candle

In my last post, I mentioned that I am re-reading The Tradition of Catholic Prayer from the Benedictine monks of Saint Meinrad Monastery. In that book, one of the types of prayer they mention is “wordless sighs of the heart.”

I am drawn to this phrase as this is one of the forms of prayer I have found meaningful. How about you?

,,,,,It’s been said, “There can be no faith life without prayer.” It’s also said that we cannot pray and continue sinning; when we really engage in prayer, we find that we have to allow God to change us for the better. Personally, I experience in prayer that God loves us!

True prayer goes beyond mere statements or superficial monologues directed in God’s direction. True prayer is dialogue, meaningful communication, presence. A “wordless sigh of the heart,” for example, is us opening ourselves bare before God.

How often does human prayer involve allowing our innermost selves to be fully transparent before God? Such vulnerability is a real interaction. While God certainly knows our hearts – God made us and knows us – it’s also true that we have free will. God doesn’t force us to into relationship; it’s up to us whether we are willing to be fully present before God.

When we aren’t in active relationship with God, the Holy Spirit occasionally knocks on our heart’s door; it’s up to us whether we respond to such promptings. We can also open our heart’s door to God by taking the initiative ourselves to communicate – God will show up when invited in. Sometimes, we feel God’s presence in prayer (I have!); other times, God may work “under the surface” in ways that we don’t observe; God working to change us “under our radar” is what John of the Cross wrote about in his book Dark Night of the Soul (“Dark Night” being a period of inner transition that isn’t fully transparent to us, rather than necessarily being a depressive period!).

There are many forms of prayer in which we have an active relationship with God. Contemplative prayer (for example, visit the network of Contemplative Outreach) is one way, being engaged while at church is another way – as aremeditative prayers such as praying the rosary, talking to God, heartfelt intercessions, prayers of praise (including music)……… What makes prayer meaningful is that we pray in a way that makes it relational. There are as many ways to pray as there are people!

Interested in learning more about prayer? Check out A Parish Catechist’s previous blog post, “How to Pray.” Also, find info here about A Parish Catechist’s Saturday morning Zoom calls about prayer.

Kim Burkhardt blogs at A Parish Catechist and The Books of the Ages (and a member of the Association of Catholic Publishers). Blogging is sustainable via blog readership (i.e. readers/subscribers). If you are a new visitor, it would be great to have you subscribe to follow this blog (thank you!). If you know someone who would like this blog, please share it with them and invite them to subscribe (thank you!). Also, your support ($$) to help sustain this blog is welcome.

The Tradition of Catholic Prayer (book review, reflections, invite)

August 2, 2024
Book The Tradition of Catholic Prayer

I recently started re-reading The Tradition of Catholic Prayer from the Benedictine monks of Saint Meinrad Monastery (I have a shelf dedicated to faith books that I return to re-read periodically). When we want to read about prayer, one of the natural places to turn is books written monks!

The depth and breadth of this book is summarized well on the book’s back cover, beginning with the following sentence: “Catholics have a rich and ancient prayer tradition that informs contemporary practice.” No wonder that people looking to deepen their prayer life look – among other places – to the Catholic Church. The variety of Catholic prayer experience and the historical context for this “rich and ancient prayer tradition” are covered engagingly in this very readable book. It’s worth a read for anyone looking to deepen their prayer life; it has helped nourish my ever-present hunger to sustain a rich and deep prayer life. I have been getting copies of this book into the hands of several people each year in recent years…..

A couple passages from this book and my reflections upon them:

  • “….the prayer of real people over the centuries….[who] opened their hearts and minds to God in prayer and came away changed by the living God whom they encountered” (page XI).” I have heard two sayings: “There can be no faith life without prayer” and “Prayer is a relationship (i.e., a relationship between the pray-er and God).” When we actively engage in prayer, we do open our hearts and minds to God; an encounter with “the living God” does change us. We can’t help but be changed by an encounter with God. I experienced as a result of an encounter with God in 2016 – after having heard it said in church innumerable times – that God loves me.

  • “As Benedictines [the monks who wrote this book] they practice prayer day in and day out, with their brothers in choir, alone in their cells, using formal rites and wordless sighs of the heart” (page XII). There are as many ways to pray and encounter God as there are people who pray – each of us is different and will therefore have our own relationship with God. Personally, my deepest experience of praying to or toward God – in addition to resting in God’s presence when God’s grace comes my direction – happens in “wordless sighs of the heart.” God doesn’t need the sentences and grammar of humanly-constructed language to receive what’s inside of us. Simply presenting oneself to God – in full inner transparency – is the prayer that I find most direct, prayerful, engaging, productive.

Daily prayer is transformative. Wondering how to pray? Check out this previous post on approaches to prayer. Also, attend our Saturday morning Zoom sessions about prayer (info here). Wishing you all the best in deepening your prayer life….

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Kim Burkhardt blogs at A Parish Catechist and The Books of the Ages (and a member of the Association of Catholic Publishers). Blogging is sustainable via blog readership (i.e. readers/subscribers). If you are a new visitor, it would be great to have you subscribe to follow this blog (thank you!). If you know someone who would like this blog, please share it with them and invite them to subscribe (thank you!). Also, your support ($$) to help sustain this blog is welcome.

Being a person of faith: more than mental beliefs about religion

September 11, 2023

Photo: Window at Clonmacnoise Monastery, Co. Offaly, Ireland

In his book Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer, Irish poet David G. Benner writes “Too often faith is reduced to beliefs. But cognitive ascent to propositions has very little to do with genuine faith, which is more a posture of the heart than of the mind. Faith in God is leaning with confidence into God. (page 32)”

I spent years “trying to think my way to God.” That doesn’t work. In 2016, I had a re-conversion experience in which I felt God’s love for me; my faith moved into “a posture of the heart” that I had been trying for years to experience (my faith story is told in more detail here.).

So, how does one move from merely “reducing faith to a set of beliefs” to faith that is experienced and lived? A few thoughts:

  • Certainly, a living faith does necessitate religious learning. Who is God? Who are we in relationship to God? What are the precepts of a life of faith? Individual faith traditions provide such instruction. It is then up to us to allow these precepts to move into our being and to incorporate these precepts into our lives (i.e., incorporate these ideas into how we relate to God, relate to other people, and live our lives).
  • Faith is experiential: a relationship with God. Faith becoming experiential involves doses of grace, surrender, prayer, and love. Living faith is made possible through grace given to us by God (in the Christian tradition, this grace is conferred upon us beginning with baptism….and then grace continues to show up at other times when God knocks on our door). Our portion of “doing faith” – what David G. Benner describes as “leaning with confidence into God” – requires surrender and prayer. Surrender is an emotional giving up, ascenting to allow God to take the driver’s seat in our lives. Prayer is where we participate in a relationship with God. Rather than prayer being a uni-directional monologue of us talking at or to God, prayer is relational and interactive. In prayer, we both communicate to God and receive the presence of God (analogy: our relationships with the people in our lives are likewise interactive rather than uni-directional). I write more about prayer here. The fruits of grace, surrender, and prayer become “the fruits of the spirit” listed in Galatians 5:22-23: “”love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
  • We live our faith through how we live. Growing into being a person of faith involves allowing our inner work of faith (grace, surrender, prayer, and resulting love – listed above) to direct our being-ness in the world. A life of faith is absolutely about our own relationship with God, but it is also essentially more than that – life isn’t just about us personally or about our own relationship with God. We are here to be of service to all of God’s children. Everyone is a beloved child of God, our lives are measured to the degree that we move into loving God’s children in thought and deed. Living our faith is about “love God and love your neighbor” (Matthew 22: 36-40) and applyin the precepts of one’s faith tradition (“The Golden Rule,” “Christian charity,” etc.).

Faith is more than a set of beliefs – it is how we relate to the divine and live among God’s children. Acts 17:28: “It is in God that we live and move and have our being.”

Kim Burkhardt blogs at A Parish Catechist and The Books of the Ages. If you are a new visitor, it would be great to have you follow this blog (thank you!). If you know someone who would like this blog post, please share it with them (thank you!).